I went rhrough rhese emotions along with the character. The trama she went through and how she went through it alone hurt me even more. A book that I give a 10/10 because of how it started and how it ended. Agent: Jessica Regel, Foundry Literary + Media. 45 Likes, TikTok video from Gigi (travelingpages): 'The Way I used To Be by Amber Smith is the first book i’ve ever cried too. The long-term view Smith takes of Eden’s story makes it all the more satisfying when she does find her voice. It’s painful to watch Eden disintegrate but also true to the double burden she carries-the violation of the rape and the weight of carrying the secret. Smith tracks Eden through her four years in high school, spotlighting her shifting relationship with her friend Mara, the caring boyfriend she lies to, and her increasing acting out with booze and sex. While Eden changes virtually overnight, no one knows what happened-largely, it seems, because no one wants to. Kevin tells good-girl, band-geek Eden that no one will believe her, and she’s sure that he is right: Kevin is her brother’s teammate and roommate, and her family revolves around her brother. These statistics underpin Smith’s debut, which opens with 14-year-old Eden being raped by her brother’s best friend while her family sleeps down the hall. According to RAINN, the largest anti-sexual-violence organization in the U.S., 80% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, and 68% go unreported.
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